... think about your life and wonder where it's all going? Job, relationship, friends, the whole thing... what the hell are you doing and why?
I've got a lot of free time on my hands now that I'm in Philly and I think about these kinds of things all the time.
I thank God for Gordon. I love him more now than I have in years past. But is that because he's all I have now or has our love really grown to a height that you only see in movies and read in books? I think it has grown. He really has been the only constant in my life for the last 8 years, though all the ups and downs of all those years. Moving all over the country and having jobs/losing jobs. Seeing the world and what it has to offer me. He's the one I want to be with, forever.
Friends come and go. The good ones are there even after months of silence. I am thankful for my friends that have been there for over a decade and those that haven't, but even though they are still thousands of miles away always call or answer at just the right time. I am realizing that I really need friends here. I'm starting to lose it.
My job couldn't be better. I can honestly say I love going to work. But, its all I have right now and I can only be there the time I'm scheduled to be there. I find myself wanting more.
I feel sad inside and I don't know how to shake it.
Suggestions?
About Me
- Sarah
- Philadelphia/Chicago, PA/IL
- I'm originally from Chicago and so is Gordon. My fiance's job brought us to Philadelphia 2 years ago. We're planning the greatest party ever back in Sweet Home Chicago. I bake for a living, sew for fun and drink wine because I can.
1 comment:
Hey Sarah....This is Lisa from the new book club. I read your entry the other day and have been meaning to reply. My boyfriend Mike and I moved to Philly last October bc of my new job. I was really happy to move to Philly and it was the thing I needed to get me out of my own rut. Mike, on the other hand, hasn't adjusted as well and has been having the same feelings as you. He also has been looking for a new job and has felt he has no purpose. He hasn't had a chance to really live in Philly since his mind has been very preoccupied! So, I guess I'm saying that I know exactly how you are feeling. I was lucky to find something to shake my life up a bit (in a good way). It has just been hard bc the person that means the most to me isn't as happy. BUT- Just this week we found out that Mike got a job, but it's back in NY. He is taking the job and is going to live with family in NY and come to philly on the weekends. Now my great Philly experience is being turned upside down. I hope you find what it is that will give you a feeling of being fulfilled. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy the new book. If you want to meet up for a beer (i know you don't drink coffee!) I'm going to have more free time on my hands.
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